In general, there is not enough meaningful career dialog going on between workers and their management. As a manager and later as a senior executive, I had to play detective when people came into my office to understand the real question they were asking; they constantly beat around the bush, they were afraid to say what was on their mind.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s very rational to be apprehensive about asking you boss a tough question, he or she might get upset or form a bad impression of you that could hurt you down the road. More likely, he or she is afraid that you’ll quote them later and it will come back to bite them. That said, if you have a burning question and you keep it bottled up, you’ll not only increase your stress level, you’re motivation will suffer and ultimately, your job performance.The trick is to ask the question that’s on your mind in a manner that the boss can answer without feeling challenged or fearing that his or her answer might one day end up in court.
Here are the top 5 real questions on almost everyone’s mind (but they’re afraid to ask because they know their boss doesn’t want to answer them), along with a diplomatic way to phrase the question to get a straightforward response:
Real Question #1: “Why was my raise or bonus so small?”
The Diplomatic Approach: “Thank you for the recent raise. I know budgets are tight and I appreciate the extra money. As you know, I constantly strive to do the best job possible. I’m curious about rationale behind my raise. How much of it was driven by the economics of the company versus my own performance?”
I once thought that I’d gotten a pretty good bonus from a boss who I thought was out to get me. I asked him this question and he said that my bonus was totally based on the performance of the company. He then went on to tell me where he was disappointed in my performance. I knew his criticisms were unfair and immediately started looking for a new job elsewhere in the company.
Similarly, you may be brooding because you thought your raise too small. Wouldn’t it be nice to know that your boss gave you the biggest raise he or she could in light of tight budgets?
Real Question #2: “Why didn’t I get that promotion?”
The Diplomatic Approach: “I’m glad to see that you promoted John rather than go outside the group to bring in an outsider who might disrupt the chemistry of our team. I want you to know that I hope to be considered for the next spot that opens up. More importantly, can you help me with my personal development plan – where do I need to improve in order to make you comfortable that I’m ready to take on greater responsibility?”
There is almost no downside to this question and plenty of upside. First of all, your boss may not have known that you were chomping at the bit to take on more — now he or she knows! Second, you’ve officially told your boss that you want straight answers about where you need to improve. He or she has no choice but to tell you. And if you deliver, you’ll likely earn one of the next few promotions.
Real Question #3: “Why did you give me that lousy assignment?”
The Diplomatic Approach: “I understand that you want me to reclassify every item in the stockroom by Monday morning. You can rest assured that I’ll get it done, but was really hoping to work with the new product design team to prepare for the upcoming launch. I’m just curious, why did you select me for this assignment?”
Someone has to do the dirty work in the department and the boss is going to pick the person who he or she feels is most expendable and least likely to make a stink. If that turns out to be you, you must firmly and respectfully cry foul. Best case is it won’t happen again; the worst case is that you keep getting bum assignments and you know you better start looking for a new job.
Real Question #4: “How much longer will you be here?”
The Diplomatic Approach: “I’ve been thinking lately about my career and I wonder if I could pick your brain for a little advice. I notice that every one respects the job your doing. How did you get to the position you’re in today? Where do you see yourself going next?”
You’ve said nothing challenging, but you will get your answer. You may even learn that your boss is about to move on and you can then solicit his or her support in taking over when they leave.Real Question #5: “What do I need to do to get promoted and make more money?”
The Diplomatic Approach: “As you may know, I have a personal career plan and my family has a financial plan that depends on me for support. I really love the job I’m doing, but to meet my career and financial goals, I really need to focus on getting to the next level in the next 6 to 12 months. Could you give me your off-the-record insight into the kind of opportunities that might open up for me in that time frame?
This question puts your boss on notice that you need to move up soon without putting a gun to his or her head. If you get a clear answer – great; you’re off to the races. If you get a wishy washy answer, or worse, you know it’s time to start sniffing out a transfer to another department or perhaps a new employer.
It’s All About Opening a Dialog
If you take a close look at each of my diplomatic questions, you’ll see that they all have one thing in common – they create a safe space for the boss to speak freely. These questions send an unmistakable signal that “nothing you say will be used against you down the road.” And that’s the key to asking your boss tough questions. It’s not easy being a manager in this litigious society we live in. If you want to have an open dialog with your boss about tough questions, you need to take the first step.
If you sit and wait for him or her to speak up, you may end up watching your career go nowhere!
Dave
Leave a Reply